All weddings are missing…
Well I was the Wedding Magician in Newton Stewart on Saturday and after a 2.5 hour drive most of which was around winding country roads that made me think the obesity epidemic is actually caused by the introduction of power stearing. You heard it here first folks the weighted steering wheel workout will be making a come back at some point in the next 2000 years or so.
Anyhow, I finally arrived and it was my first wedding on a farm! Yip, cows and everything just wandering around – it was mad. These people love animals so much they even had a dog at it. Yes, in the Marquee was a wee dog walking up and down the aisle of the temporary church. I think all weddings should have a dog as it gives people something to look at and just think if this happened.
“Does anyone here present know of any reason why these two people shouldn’t be married?”
Would that not be the highlight of your life?
Dynamo how you haunt me
Every 5 years we are presented with a new TV Magician and right now Dynamo is inspiring everyone under the age of 14 to pick up a deck of cards and with every shuffle of the cards they dream of becoming the next big thing. It’s almost becoming rare to attend a wedding that I’m not introduced to someone who immediately asks if you can walk through walls. Today was a little different…mainly because the closest wall had a gate on it and the others are made out of tarpaulin (or whatever marquees are made out of). So I was presented with the customary 12 year old child Findlay who was going to show me a trick. These things are always nerve wracking for me as there are literally a million tricks out there and I don’t know all of them. It’s always that moment of, “I’m the professional magician and I don’t want to look stupid in front of a 12 year old” Luckily for me…he got the trick wrong and I managed to keep my job for the day.
It’s nice to be nice
As the speeches started it was time for me to head back to Glasgow to teach magic followed by a gig in a comedy club. However, before I left I noticed the cards young Findley was using and I thought it would be a nice gesture to leave a deck of unopened professional Bicycle cards for him in the house. As I thought about it, I thought they’ll just assume I’ve left them by accident so I thought I’d better leave a note. Trouble was I couldn’t find a piece of paper and I started to become really guilty at the thought I was wondering around someone’s house and if I was caught the excuse of “I was looking for a bit of paper ” wasn’t going to work. Even as I mentally practiced it I didn’t believe myself. (is it bad that a professional liar was essentially feeling guilty about telling the truth?) Thankfully there was 1 piece of paper in the printer so I stole that, wrote a wee encouragement note and a p.s. of I’m sorry I stole the paper. I got a lovey wee thank you from the client today to say.
Just a quick email to thank you for Saturday. Everyone loved it and you did a great job in terrible weather conditions. Thanks also for the cards you left for Findlay . He has not laid them down since !!