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HaHa Cadabra

showposterShazam, you lovely people.  Here’s the deal.  I’ve loved magic ever since I was 4 year old boy (before that I was a girl and it never really appealed to me) Over the next 16 years I learned lots of magic, picked the tricks that suited me best and  put together an act good enough to win awards and perform at a professional level.   A few years later I took the biggest gamble of my life and left my job to pursue my dream of performing magic full time.   Although it was the best decision of my life….I probably should have left my job with more than one booking in the diary.

Over the years I’ve experimented with different styles & clients.  At one point I was a serious mind-reader performing for Millionaires and Royalty.  However, I always felt more at home thinking on my feet in front of a live working class comedy audience, it just felt more real and it was something I was not only good at, but something few entertainers could do.      Recently I’ve been focusing more on the business side of things, however I now have the magic bug back and I’m enjoying writing and developing a new act and you can be the first to see it on March 28th as part of the Glasgow Comedy Festival.

Glasgow Comedy Festival

On Saturday, 28th March 2015, I will be performing a mixture of my tried and tested routines with some new and exciting effects just released to the magic world.  I’d love it if you all came along.  I’ll also be sharing some of my most embarrassing / funny stories from gigs that didn’t go quite as planned.

The Admiral Bar:  72 Waterloo Street, Glasgow

For £8 this is an absolute steal.  (especially as you’ll be entitled to free entry to the comedy show afterwards)

 

I Wouldn’t Want To Play Cards With You

Cards PosterOn Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014 I shall be performing my first solo show…and I am bricking it!!

I’ve been performing 1 hour stand-up shows for clients for years but I’ve never done one myself so it’s exciting times.  Also in the last 12 months I’ve climbed the ranks of the comedy world and have been headlining a few of the smaller clubs and doing quite well. I see this Stand-up Comedy magic as a new challenge and it’s something I’d like to do.  I’m actually finding it helps my close-up magic and my close-up magic helps the stand-up magic so by the end of the week if all goes well I should be World Champion.

So what’s the Show About?

“Tricks I do and nonsense I talk” was less than the 150 words required for show description so I thought about what else I could talk about and as I’m:

  • Magic Champion
  • Poker Champion
  • Scottish Comedian Of The Year Semi-finalist (I was robbed honest governor)

So I have combined them to make the show ‘I Would’t Want To Play Cards With You’

Granted it’s not the shortest title; but when I’m out performing, virtually every night someone will say, “I wouldn’t want to play cards with you!” and now when they say it my ego will think “Ahh, they’ve seen my show”.  So expect magic, poker chips, how to read people and a magic doughnut.

Why now?

Well my big mate and magic mentor Jim Trainer passed away last year and it reminded me life is to short and it was probably about time to get up off my bottom and take a few risks.  So this is a risk.  He passed away on the deadline for the Glasgow Comedy Festival Submission day and I know he’d have appreciate this so they show’s dedicated to Jim and I’ll be performing something he game me at it 🙂

Oh…and April 2nd is MY BIRTHDAY!!

Tickets

Islay wedding magician

I’m happy to announce that I’ve joined that elite group of performers to be flown around the world.  Some go to Australia – I went to The Isle of Islay.

Islay is about 90 miles from Glasgow and is just behind the Isle Of Bute.  It’s a small island with just over 3000 people living there.  It’s famous for its whisky distilleries and the excellent Scottish film called Angels’ Share.

I was booked to do some close-up magic for the wedding of Mhairi and husband…it was her wedding!

The Journey

small planeI get to the airport and I was looking forward to a little snooze on the plane.  However, the air hostess asked me if I would mind taking the emergency seat on the plane.  I asked if there was another seat to which she replied, “yes…but he’s flying the plane”.  She wasn’t kidding!  I built bigger gliders as a child from the Airfix modelling kits.  So I’m on the plane guarding the emergency door knowing that if I make a mistake me and the other 3 passengers lives could be in risk – it wasn’t too much responsibility.  As we embarked on the mammoth 25 minute flight that left at 8:30 the pilot gave us a wee tour guide of the Isle of Bute and the names of all the puddles we were flying over.  I suppose when he signed up to do the transatlantic journeys he had factored in more excitement.  However, it was at this point he said something strange:

 

DING DONG: “Ladies and Gentlemen (Pause…I think he checked the flight roster and yes today he was carrying both males and females so he continued) Today’s flight left at on schedule at 8:30 the flight duration is 25 minutes so we will land on Islay at 9:10am” 

Now if you’re anything like me…you do the maths! I’ve got my Columbo hat on and  something not quite adding up.  Surely 25 minutes after 8:30 is 8:55 not 9:10 – where’s this extra 15 minutes coming from?

DING DONG:  “For those of you wondering about the time difference the flight only takes 25 minutes but the airport doesn’t open till 9am!”

I swear I thought we’d be landing on a field; but, sure enough it was a airport.  We get off the plane and we wait on the bags to come through and I see one of the funniest things ever.  You know on a normal airport there’s the luggage carousel?  Well this was more like the conveyor belt found at Tesco!  Normally when your bag comes out in the first 3 you feel lucky!  Mine came 3rd or as it’s known on Islay – ‘last’.  I’ve been told there will be a taxi waiting for me and I let fame get to my head.  I was expecting someone there with a cardboard cut out with my name on it or maybe the phrase “magician” or something.  But, no – nothing.  After waiting around for a wee while I check my email to see if I’ve to phone a taxi and there’s only one other person in the airport who eventually approaches me and says “Are you the magician? ” I nod, “He says I’m Tom, I’m your taxi”.  Cool.  We then walk to the carpark and I see a yellow car from the 80’s.  I’ve never seen a car like it and Tom informs me it’s a limited edition.  He then says, “Excuse what you see next” and opens the passenger door.  “Now we’re talking” I’m thinking,  finally a bit of celebrity treatment for surely the foremost entertainer on the island!  I was wrong.  The driver door didn’t open so Tom had to use the passenger door to enter and exit the car.  Now it was my turn and as I entered I saw tapes, yip, cassette tapes and plenty of them (Any readers born after the 80’s go and ask a parent or guardian)  Then I spotted his magnetically powered Satnav otherwise known as ‘A Compass’ (this is 100% true). Right on the dashboard where you’d normally find  the satnav was Tom’s trusty compass.  I joked about it and Tom said it kept him heading in the right direction.

Tom informs me of Island protocol.  He says “it’s slooooow”.  He informs me that my understanding of “I’ll do that tomorrow” would be interpreted as “I’ll do that the day after today”;  however, on Islay this only means, “I’m not doing it today”.   It would appear I’ve been on The Islay Gym Schedule and Islay Diet for quite some time.

The Hotel

I arrive at the hotel, the person who was meant to leave my room hasn’t departed yet, the cleaner hasn’t turned up yet etc and before I can think of complaining I think of the countless stories of Tom telling me “this is Islay – things run slower here”

So I asked the girl if there was anywhere I could have breakfast and she thought about it for a minute and said, “You could try the restaurant” I inquired “And where might this restaurant be?” She responded “upstairs – just tell psycho you’re staying here tonight and will be requiring an extra breakfast”.  I’ll address these points sequentially:
1)  It was the hotels restaurant.  Now call me daft; but, If I worked in a hotel that served breakfast and someone asked me where they could get breakfast I wouldn’t have to think too long to find the answer.  It would be the same as someone phoning me up and asking if I knew anyone that perfomed magic at weddings and me saying, “erm…well, I suppose I do them”.   However, there was a more pressing matter

2) Who the f**k is psycho? Did a guy with a knife just turn up to the hotel and they said “Great your here, get chopping those onions!” and Psycho for the first time in his life just felt accepted?

So up I went to the restaurant and sat down, placed the sharpest knife to my right (you can take the boy out of Glasgow but you can’t take Glasgow out the boy) and the chef appears and looks at me confused.  I informed him that I was staying overnight and would like an extra breakfast.  He asks me what I want, I ask for a menu, he looks confused and says “Do you just want the full lot” I agree, hoping for a fry up rather than the deeds of the restaurant,  and he says it’ll be a couple of minutes.  I sit down and I my mind wonders and starts to think about psychos in horror films and how they always move really slow – maybe they’re just from Islay!  Maybe the guy cooking my breakfast is the ‘King Of The Zombies’.  Who knows? but I’m hungry and I’m brought out of my daydream when Psycho informs me the breakfast is in the silver containers at the back.  It’s your standard breakfast buffet set-up with the big industrial metal containers where you lift the lid and take what you want.  I lift the lid of the first container to discover one sausage, I put it on my plate.  Container two contained one slice of bacon, container three contained one fried egg and container four contained about twenty black puddings.  Would it not have been easier to just put these things on a plate and bring the plate over?

The Island

Toby The SealAfter breakfast I went for a walk thinking I might as well see some of the place. I popped into the post office and turn on the Glasgow charm, “bla bla bla, first time here bla bla is there anything I shouldn’t miss here?”

Clerk: “You could try The Pier.”  

So I’m over at the hub of excitement better known as ‘The Pier’ the excitement was wearing off but then up pops something in the sea and it turned out to be a seal.  The seal was quite causally playing popping his head up and about the place and I thought that was pretty cool.

I went for a wander and the island was beautiful and very relaxed.  Being an asthmatic there’s a strange sensation that most people don’t understand.  The air was really clean.  I could feel my lungs getting purified by the minute but it’s quite a strange thing to say to someone, “they air here is really clear”.  I’m sure there’s a really bad chat-up line in there somewhere and if there is…I’ll find it!

Off to the wedding.

Tom said he’d get me at 2:30 so at 3:25 he appears for me in the Islay Mobile and takes me to the wedding.

I get started, tricks going well and I’m having a lot of fun.  It was a glorious day which made it very sunny and luckily for me everyone was wearing those reflective sunglasses so anytime someone took a card as soon as they looked at it I’d just see the reflection in their glasses.  After a while, people started assuming the cards were marked and were covering the backs of the cards.  It was funny because I was teaching some people how it was done and this was confusing the other guests.

Then I saw a blast from the past – I used to work in IT for an accountancy firm in Glasgow and one of the partners of the firm was the father of the groom.  How strange!  6 years ago I left his office in Glasgow and the first time I bump into him is on an island.

People were asking me what I thought of the Island and as I hadn’t really experienced anything all I could talk about was the seal at the pier and the hotel.

Toby The Seal

I thought I might have been the only person to see the seal or there might be numerous seals; but, it turns out there is only 1 seal and his name is Toby.  The legend of Toby is that he’s the laziest seal in the sea.  He swam into the pier years ago and people threw him fish and he quite liked it so just stayed.  Whilst other seals are out chasing fish, he just stays in the pier and the fisherman go out and do all the work and when they come back they feed him. The only time he goes out to sea is to mate.  I made the joke, “It sounds like he’s on the brew”  but no one found it funny.

Rumour has it he will swim up against the side of boats and people will rub his tummy with a brush.  However, years ago he got a bit big for his own boots because they used to have small boats who didn’t know the score.  Toby would say hi do his party tricks and if the people didn’t know who he was he’d jump on the boat and start looking for the fish himself nearly capsizing the boats in the process.

I thought Toby might be a story the tell the outsiders but sure enough every postcard in Islay has Toby on it.

History of Psycho

I’m told Psycho basically turned up to the hotel 1 day not with a knife; but, with a Great Dane (the big dog) After some negotiations he was employed as live in chef.  He was given a room with bunk beds and the dog sleeps on the bottom bunk and Psycho sleeps on the top bunk.

Romance for me

I did meet one girl who was absolutely breathtaking, I didn’t chat her up though…because the air is so clean…told you I’d find it.

Conclusion

I had a cracking time.  I met loads of nice people and the wedding was fun & relaxed.  It’s just a shame I don’t like whisky because everyone else thought the stuff was great.  I’m sure I’ll be back over again as everyone who lived there loved the place.  They said it’s the place they wanted to raise their kids.  I’m sure a week there would either drive me mad or totally recharge my batteries.  That’s all for now folks.

See my new magic show June 8th Glasgow

Yip, I’m back on the bill for my Enterteasement show.  I’ll be on the bill along with some of the best names in the business.

My New Trick

Poster for show I’ll be trying some new stuff as well including my favourite all time trick.  Let me explain.  About 7 years ago I saw a trick at a magic convention and I was in awe!  It’s not the type of trick that fools a magician; but, I was amazed how much confidence it took to even attempt this trick.  Over the years I have told many people about this effect and how it was a total lesson in misdirection and audience management.  So when I heard the American magician, who I’d seen perform the trick, was coming to Glasgow to perform a lecture on his act…I knew I would have to learn this trick and put it in my act.

So I’ve been practicing it at home which confused the neighbours because I have a mannequin that sits in my front room and sometimes I think they think I’m talking to it and other times I hope the think I’m only talking to it!

But I took it out on Saturday night where I was performing at Hootenany’s Bar opening in Glasgow and there were a bunch of Irish Guys so they saw it first and they loved it.  I kinda bottled it on my Sunday show and didn’t perform it.  But on Monday I was full of confidence and was performing at a Graduation ball and the booker asked to see something that no one else had seen so I did it and he loved it so I’m all happy.  It’ll need some polishing off before it’s perfect but I’m all happy it’s coming together.

So What is Enterteasement?

It’s a Comedy Magic Burlesque night at The Admiral Bar in Glasgow.   I was already performing on the comedy scene and at some burlesque clubs and made sense for me to run a night bringing all 3 together and it’s been an absolute blast.  People often ask me if I’ve ever had a ‘Stand’ act on or a Jongleurs act on the bill.  So this month I’m proud to announce that I’ve got The Headline act for Jongleurs as my Headline….and I’ve also got the Headline act for The Stand opening my show.  Yip, that might be why we have a 4.6 star average customer review.  It is simply the best line-up in Scotland of any of the Comedy Clubs.

Fancy it?

Saturday June 8th
8pm – 10:30
£14
The Admiral Bar: 72 Waterloo Street, Glasgow

Full details over at www.enterteasement.com

Sorry for the website problems

Man Shouting at Computer

Howdy folks, If anyone’s been trying to get onto the site the last few days and haven’t been able to then it’s my fault.  I’m changing webhosts and it hasn’t been as easy a process as I had first hoped.  I even tried the classic “Turning it on and off again” but the problem was still there.  I’ve also tried; hugging, praying and I got the Harry Potter wand out and tried to cast a spell.  None of it worked but shouting seems to help the most.  Anyhow, emails & site might be a bit up and down but I’m working (pestering the hosting company) as we speak so hopefully in a couple of days we’ll be back to normal

 

 

Can You Make My Belly Disappear?

Can you make my belly disappear?

It’s one of those questions magicians get asked a lot it’s up there with;

1)      Can you make my wife disappear?

2)      What do you think of Dynamo?

3)      How did you get into magic?

4)      Can I be your Debbie McGhee?

And my personal favourite… “Do you know Harry Potter?”

 

However, my answer to the ‘Can You Make My Belly Disappear?’ has always been.  “If I could do that I’d start with my own”.  However, it’s true…I have actually managed to make my belly disappear…well some of it anyway and I have to say it’s been easier than expected and dare I say fun?   Let me explain; it’s my 30th in April and at New Years I decided that I wanted to be a healthy weight for my birthday.  So I started running but I managed to pull my hamstring and no I can’t “magic it better” and that’s when it hit me I needed something else, something special I needed a magic assistant…well two to be exact.  So I’ve enlisted the services of Jen & Elle – 2 female Personal Trainers from Forward Fitness Glasgow and I’ve been taking their Pilates classes out in the west end of Glasgow and WOW.  I’ve done Pilates before but nothing like this.  It’s friggin amazing and it’s a full body workout as well as a good laugh.  So yeah it’s unfortunate that I can’t do my running as of yet but I’ve lost 8lb this month and the girls have taken good care of me.  Also, my magic shows as of recent times have been going amazingly well and at these shows I keep getting asked if I’m single which I can only conclude means that I’m wearing way to much aftershave (that joke got 19 likes on my facebook so I thought I’d throw it in_

So I’m not going to give you all weekly updates on how my health is going because who knows I could give up next week and then I’d feel stupid.  However, I have a funny feeling I won’t.  I have a feeling that I’ll actually stick with what I’m doing and lose some weight in the process.  Here are my secrets

1)      Eat when you’re hungry

2)      Eat whatever you want

3)      Stop when you’re full

4)      Go to pilates classes at http://www.forwardfitnessglasgow.com/pilates/

 

I was going to do this for charity but I’ve decided to be totally selfish and do it for myself.  I’m hoping to lose another 8-10lb in Feb and the same again in March.  Wish me luck folks!!

 

Magician On The Radio

There’s 3 letters I love more than anything else.  BBC.  When the BBC call asking for me to perform that wee “I want to be a celebrity”  voice in my head get’s louder.  The amount of doors it could open, the bragging rights and above all – it makes a great facebook update.

I was asked if I could perform a trick for the McCauley & CO radio listeners on BBC Radio Scotland.  Now the tricks I perform are all very visual but I thought “BBC, I can do it”

So  I said, “Yes I could do that”

Then BBC Paul said, “And could you teach that trick to the audience at home?”

Even the books I learn magic tricks from have pictures in them but teaching a trick over the radio – that’s a challenge.  However, my brain said, “BBC, I can do it”

So I said, “Yes I could do that”

And then he said, “And it will be performed close-up to Fred but also to an audience of 200”

By that point I was in for a penny in for a pound.

So I replied “ No problem”

Then he asked if I could teach a trick to Richard ‘The Challenge Guy’ Now this is something I love doing so I was really looking forward to it.

Choosing tricks to perform on the radio

I’ve heard about 5 magicians perform magic on the radio.  All 5 have performed mind-reading and 3 have performed the same trick.  Why?  Because mindreading works on the radio as it happens in the person’s mind.  Whereas magic is more visual.  So I decided I would perform a card trick (as requested) but I would perform it in a mind-reading style.

Teaching a trick for the radio

I was told I had an hour with Richard. As Richard has performed lots of challenges and even a good few magic challenges, I didn’t have to worry about him dealing with stage fright or performance issues.  So what was my goal?  No disrespect to the other tricks that he’d learned but they are what we refer to in the magic business as “Self Working Magic” These are similar to the trick I taught in the original piece.  So I had the option of teaching Richard one of these tricks in 10 minutes and play it safe.  But that’s not what I wanted.  I’ve spoken to a few magicians who have changed careers and I’ve asked them if it was hard to re-learn.  They’ve always answered with…”It’s not like learning how to do x shuffle or y move” And this is what I wanted to do with Richard.  It was my goal to push him and show how complicated magic can be to learn.  So I taught him one of my favourite tricks.  If I had 40 minutes I wouldn’t have taught him it but I knew I could teach him it in an hour.

30 minutes in and I wasn’t so sure but by the time we were on the 40 minute mark he had it and the last 20 minutes we polished it up and added some showmanship and presentation.

Showtime – Woody On The Radio

I arrived and met the team which was weird as the co-host was my friends ex-girlfriend and I met 2 comedians I know as well.  I then Met Fred McCauley who said it was nice to meet me,  I informed him we had met before and I could sense his embarrasement at not remembering my face but I put him at ease by telling him he wouldn’t remember me as it a) it was only a brief encounter b) it was 8 years ago and c) I was dresses as Santa Clause at the time.

When the show started I walked on and started telling my magic story.  When It came time for me to teach the trick Fred semed surprised and asked if the Magic Circle would be annoyed and I replied by saying, “Only if you pay your fees”.  I’d just received a letter saying mine are due so this got an audience laugh.  However after performing my magic and teaching the effect he asked if I could perform some mind-reading.  This caught me off gaurd as it wasn’t in the script at all and I’d given away the pack of cards.  I did however have a dowsing pendulum with me so I brought that out but to be honest I don’t think it’s the type of trick that works on radio.

Push a 10p into a can of irn-bru.  Unbeknown to me at the time, you’re not allowed to say products name’s over the radio but I must have said it 5 times – oops

It was time for Richards performance – we were told we were really short on time and that the piece may be cancelled.  However, we were told we had a maximum of 2 minutes.  More pressure on Richard so he started the trick and he hit the coin into the can and rather than the coin go in the can the can shot halfway across from the stage – Doh!

Now for those of you who know me will know I’m Mr Back-up so behind Richard, I had a spare can of Irn-bru or as Fred referred to it – “A can of a very popular Scottish fizzy drink”.

Richard continued and performed the trick really well and got a great reaction from the audience.  Afterwards Richard said he had performed 900 challenges and this was the one that made him most nervous.  So I feel like I’ve done myself proud and whenever Richard talks about his challenges he’ll always talk about how complexities of sleight of hand.

As the link to the radio will die in the middle of December I’m not going to post it but hopefully I’ll have a link up soon.

In conclusion, magic on the radio was fun!!

 

New website now live!!!

Howdy People this is version 4 of my website. For those of you who know don’t know me, mention of the word website turns me from mild mannered magician into The Hulk.
However, the good news is – this is my new site and I’m really happy to say it’s looking quite nice and it’s quite easy to use – if you do spot a problem, please let me know and i’ll remedy it asap
I’m totally in charge of this website and I’ve got some really cool features that I’ll be unleashing in the next few days

Stand Gig Continued – funny story

Do you drink when performing?

No, never…well sometimes.  On rare occasions such as seeing one of my friends for the first time in 14 months I’ll have a Shandy – as long as it’s finished  30 minutes before I walk on stage and sometimes after a gig I carry a shandy to be seen as more approachable.  But I have a confession, I’m addicted to tea.  I actually carry tea bags with me and have been known to take a flask of tea with me to gigs.  At the time of writing this I’m drinking a cup of Pukka’s Nettle tea – it’s basically the bomb, I’d taken 6 of these flavoured tea bags with me but unfortunately the kettle had been stolen.

After my performance, which is on the previous blog, I had a celebratory Shandy as well although I secretly wanted the nettle tea.

Romance or OCD

Afterwards I went with Zhara to the very place we had went on our first date and stood in the location where we had our first drink – awww, I’m still trying to figure out if I’m romantic or suffering from OCD.  However, it was time to go and as Zhara was heading off, I didn’t want to rush to the bathroom so thought I’d just hold it in till I got home

OCD 0 Romance 1

Driving home – the adventure begins

I can safely say I’ve never been drunk driving apart from when I actually passed my test.  I got the dates mixed up and was at a party next thing I knew I was woken up and I was in the car before I knew it heading for my driving test.  However, that’s a story for another day.  This day I’ve consumed 2 units of alcohol over 5 hours – I’m safe to drive.  However as I hardly ever drink these day’s I’m still a little nervous, especially as I passed by the cops.  The  cops were writing down the details of some prostitutes.  I thought it might make a funny facebook update to say they were trying to get there phone numbers.  However, before I could think of the punch line I spotted a fight.  One guy was on top of the other guy slapping him so I thought I’d better call the cops then intervene.  Just then I remembered the cops were just around the corner so I thought it would be more efficient to go back and get them.  The cops had just left the prostitutes; I flashed my lights, told them of the fight and assumed my karma points were sky high.

The cops drove off in the same direction as me but when they go there the 2 gentlemen had vanished (get it – magic, vanished – sigh)

Was the Adventure over or was it just about to begin

So the next thing I know I’m being flashed, I thought they were going to ask me for more details but it turns out they weren’t interested in the assault, they were more interested in my 2 shandies. They didn’t ask about the nettle tea so I decided not to mention it as the time didn’t seem right.

So at this point I’m out the car and they have to order a breathalyser, I asked if I could go to the toilet but they said no.  I said, I would keep the sample but they said no.  When talking to the police the main objective is to look calm.  However, I’m seriously thinking, I’m going to create a puddle down one of my legs and get a fine.   So I’m now getting nervous and decide to tell the cops my joke about them taking down the girls numbers…they didn’t find it funny.

The cop said my eyes looked glazed and could I explain that? He was obviously hinting at drink and drugs but I thought – there’s only certain situations where it’s ok to name drop so I launch into my Kevin Bridges story.  By this point I may have been calling him Kev by next week we’ll be moving in with each other.

So the breathaliser appears and he reads me my rights – (one of the rights you don’t have is the right to go to the toilet.)

He say’s “blow into this tube, it doesn’t have to be a hard blow just a long blow”

My comedy mind takes over with a bunch of things to say but my bladder kicks in, tells my brain to shut up and my lips to blow…and blow they did!

Cop looks at me smiles and say’s, “Positive”

I say confused, “positive”

He say’s, “positive”

At this point I know the machine is broke but the idea of soiling myself in the back of a cop car is not the most appealing.

So it was time for a to employ some Derren Brown Jedi Mind trickery.  So I said in a louder voice, Positive?

He looks back at the thing and say’s, “NO SORRY, I mean negative”

“So I’m free to go then?” I said.

He replied yes and started to say something about how it was only his job and such like, but I said, the words of Forrest Gump, “I have to go pee” and I ran to the toilet.

A twist in the tail?

On arrival I realised I had not only left my car illegally parked but the windows were down.  There were 2 junkies looking in my car and not the Fun junkes from earlier.  At that time, I had my Iphone, camcorder, microphones & magic gear in the car – so we’re talking an easy £2k.  Plus I have £200 in my pocket sitting safely next to my tea bags.

So I run up and tell them it’s my car at which point they inform me I’m not allowed to park there.  This really isn’t my day! So I explain the situation with the cops and when I mention the fight one say’s,

“Yeah, that was us”

Then one of them asks me

If I can give him £2.05 for a can of beer.

And all I can think of is the Kevin Bridges Bus Stop Joke.

And as I reached into my pocket I found £4.20 so I handed it over with a smile when he asks me the question you don’t want to hear

Junkie: “Can I ask another favour?”

Me: “fire away chief”

Junkie: “Will you vote for SNP at the next election?”

Me:  “I’ll try my hardest” (I still don’t know what this means”

He then continued to tell me how Scotland needed to be more of a socialist society but still support the queen whilst promoting our independence.

At the end of it he asked if I could tell if he was homeless, and I said

“I can tell you’re homeless but more importantly I can tell you’re a gentleman”

We shook hands and he said his name was John and I said my name’s Chris and that was the end of the conversation.

In conclusion

The knock on effect of positive action in my life and a willingness to help people. I got to perform at the Stand, meet Kevin Bridges,” because I alerted the police, I got to meet the John the Junkie and because I spoke to him he’s no longer John the Junkie but John the Gent.

Loving life right now – still not loving the police

 

Happy Easter

Howdy Folks, Just wishing you a Happy Easter,

Over the next few days I’m going to put a lot of my Blogs from my old site onto here so don’t get confused if you see something on here that confuses you.

Also, Expect some photos, a contact form, a sign-up and even news of my very own magic/variety night in Glasgow.

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